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My mother taught me HUMOR.‾"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." Author Unknown
Strange Turnpike Turnings Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything." Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says "Dam!"
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